How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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