seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
