u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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