do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
