She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
