I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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