I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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