...so i touched it.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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