I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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