I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
