: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
