ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
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She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Where are you guys?
Drunk
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize