Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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