all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
That accounts for only three of the penises
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
