You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
