I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize