I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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