i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
