I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I won the penis lottery.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
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