New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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