Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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