After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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