tell your sister to shave her snatch
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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