So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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