Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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