I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
