so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
