you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize