I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
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I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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