1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Can i not drive my cunt home
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize