It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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