I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
