you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
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