Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
