that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
