____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
