Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
