I wannas sexs uuuuu
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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