how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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