one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
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