Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
