I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
