We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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