What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
