New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
