it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
