Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
