so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The struggles of a small town man whore
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
