I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize