The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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