he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
