you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
