we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize