I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
