What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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