did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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