Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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