Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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